Scene II: A park bench – the police station. This scene is played before the main curtain. At stage right is a park bench. The spotlight picks up the spies on this bench and follows them from the beginning of the scene until the end of the song when the lights come up. At stage left are a desk and chair.
Andre: It’s not gonna work.
Vlad: I was thinking that too.
Andre: We can’t go on fooling this guy forever. You know nobody’s ever escaped from the Party.
Vlad: He’s going to find out that those guys aren’t us. Let’s get out of the country.
Andre: You know that won’t solve anything. The Party’s in every country.
Ivan: We’re surrounded.
Vlad: You know what I’m thinking?
Andre: Yeah, it’s not a very nice way out is it.
Vlad: No, but it’s the best.
Ivan: What do you mean?
Andre: A revolver.
Vlad: The classic solution to misery.
Andre: I like this kind of life too much to let it slip out of my hands like that.
Ivan: How do you commit suicide then?
Vlad: There are many other, less dangerous, methods.
Ivan: Do You believe in the hereafter?
Andre: I believe in the herein.
Ivan: What’s that?
Vlad: (Has to think what it could possibly be) Life as it’s lived; with all its little annoyances!
Ivan: Little annoyances? YOU’VE never suffered.
Andre: Never more than I had to. So I’d much rather play tic-tac-toe on a jail wall than Russian roulette.
Vlad & Ivan: Jail?
Andre: That’s just what I said.
Ivan: That just doesn’t appeal to me.
Andre: Yes, but it’s open season and we’re sitting ducks everywhere but in a cozy little cell.
Ivan: I still don’t like it.
Vlad: Me either, but it does look like the best bet.
Ivan: Will we have to confess?
Andre: Everything!
Ivan: Everything?
“Tom Dooley”
The Three Spies — sung while walking from park bench to the police desk; police are picked up in the periphery of the spotlight as the Spies “enter” the station
[lyrics omitted — see original scan; song is copyrighted material licensed for the 1959 production]
Police Chief: Sergeant! (Pauses – begins writing note) The Burgermeister will be interested in this. (The sergeant comes out) Lock’em up! (Spies ushered out and Chief puts finishing touches on note) Heinrich!…Dispatch this note to City Hall immediately – to the Burgermeister in person.
Heinrich: Ja (He begins to leave)
CURTAIN