What follows is the actual script — every scene, cue, and stage direction as Larry and I typed it in 1959. It’s a Cold War spy spoof: three bumbling Russian agents hiding out at Vienna’s Liechtenstein Hotel, a Commissar sent to liquidate them, and an American movie star whose location shoot gets tangled up in the whole mess before everyone lands, more or less happily, at the hotel’s “Once a Year Day” party. The songs are original comic lyrics we wrote to fit popular tunes of the day — the credits page at the end lists every melody we borrowed and its rightful publisher.

Read it as what it is: two teenagers’ best attempt at a Broadway musical, built entirely out of stolen Wednesday and Saturday afternoons, and somehow still funny sixty-odd years later. The full script is also available as a PDF, and a photo gallery from the production.